Just this week, we learned that my cousin-by-marriage died in Maui, HI and it was such a shock. My daughter and I were together when we learned of her death and we couldn't believe it had happened; she was only 60. She died alone in her house and had a Mass of Christian Burial last week in Maui. None of us could be there and so we feel very sad and sort of at loose ends - almost like it is unreal.

She and I were single school teachers (once-upon-a-time) and we shared an apartment for a year. She moved to another state to work on a master's degree and I moved on to marriage. She was the very first person who made me aware of healthy ways of eating and much, of what she repeatedly said, s-l-o-w-l-y seeped into the part of me that finally put her knowledge into action. For that I shall always be grateful.

During a friend's recent inquiry about Memphis, I told some of the things tourists (and locals) do in Memphis and she was the first one who took me to that southern Mississippi River city and helped me become acquainted with the place. We had fun shopping at Barzizza Brothers and finding all the fresh spices and wonderful teas. She knew all the good restaurants and introduced me to Justine's. She taught me about oriental rugs and what constitutes quality and we visited many rug galleries there. She loved art and art history, travel, English literature, classical music and museums, and was an excellent student and quick learner. I often told her that she should write children's literature because she had such a wonderful imagination.

She was named for her aunt, who would become my mother-in-law, and she became an avid Maui lover and bought a home there over thirty years ago and spent about half her time on that beautiful island. For a part of that time, Anne Morrow Lindbergh was her neighbor. She had buried her father shortly before we met and later she buried two step-fathers and, eventually, her mother. After that, she then resided permanently in Maui in another home she purchased and it was in that one where she died. I am so very sad that she died alone; no one should be alone at death. We are all sad for she was alone for a long time before her body was discovered. So, so sad! It was in God's good grace that my daughter and I were together because we were the only two adults, among the five present, who knew her and we could help each other with this shock and grief. Praises are ascending to God for having us together during that time. I just returned home late last night and my day has rather been on auto-pilot because my mind was thinking and grieving about this cousin (we always joked that we acquired each other). Only last year, one of my first cousins, age 63 and also Catholic, died suddenly in front of me and the reality of quick death became extremely "front and center."

My prayer request would be that we (especially my daughter who loved her very much and was close to her) would find some way to work through this grief and be at peace that she was alone. Writing this is somewhat a way for me to grieve a bit more and have you share in that. Grief shared is lessened. I plan to write a tribute about her for family members but will be unable to get to it until next week; I just have to do something to honor her memory. She left a very large amount of her estate to her church and she is buried there in the Catholic cemetery. She dearly loved her parish in Maui!

Needing consolation from some Catholics,

Mary Katherine (an Anglican)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can tell she was a very, very special person.

Please know you are in my prayers.

I am sorry to hear of your loss and especially sorry it took me so long to say so.

Please know that you are in my prayers during this time of sadness and reflection.

May her soul rest in peace -- and may you, Mary Katherine, and your daughter, know the peace of Christ.

Thanks to you who responded and prayed. Those intense feelings of grief are a bit less and being busy with an educational seminar this week has helped. My daughter, also, appreciates your prayers! We plan to go to Maui at a later date and, perhaps, this will bring further healing to our grieving spirits.

Love and blessings to all,

Mary Katherine~